Cooling a husband off his mistress — sin or not

"Good day! I have a question for you: I recently learned that my husband, with whom I have lived for 20 years in a lawful marriage, has taken a lover — he confessed it to me himself. Ten years younger than me. He has changed so much, he dotes on her, she is all goodness to him — simply an angel. And I have become bad, so very bad to him. He has forgotten everything: how we lived together, built and created our joint business, raised our children. How I nursed him through cancer, and then through alcoholism. How I drew him into my business. My whole life is going off the rails, you understand — he no longer sees me or our children; we even have grandchildren, there is nothing left but to live and rejoice. And yet he found himself someone. I have heard — I suspect — that she has put a love spell on him. But I cannot let him go to this woman; for me it would mean killing my family, which is the same as my death. Tell me, could you look into what is happening to him, and what I should do? I go to church and pray at home, I wish no one harm, and I would like to know your opinion: if I remove her love spell from him and bring him back to the family with magical rites — then I would be casting a love spell too, wouldn't I? I have read that his health may suffer from it. What should I do, in your view — is breaking their bond and bringing my husband back to the family a sin or not? And what am I to do?" Ludmila.

Such a question — far from a rare one — arrived in my email. We live in a society, under certain laws, and every country has its own. In our country, marriage is permitted with one woman or one man. You live in an official marriage, which means you registered it, signed your names and vowed to love each other — to what end? Was it all for nothing, meaningless to everyone now? What is the expiry date of that vow? Forgotten? Then what does that rite — the signing, and the rite of the church wedding — mean at all? To you personally.

No matter how hard they try to push free love upon our society — neither the decrees on sex in Lenin's day passed, the people never accepted them. So even now your own conscience tells you that taking back what is yours by every right is no sin. For there are higher laws by which our ancestors once lived, laws that ordained you to be his wife and him to be your husband, and you swore to it and signed your names; you were even wed in church and all the necessary prayers were read. And now what — as if all that is forgotten?

A traitor is a rotten person. No matter how sweet he is to you, no matter how he justifies himself before you or himself — it is so, and the ancient book tells us as much.

Tear out a part of thy body and cast it from thee, pluck out thine eye and cast it from thee, or else great trouble shall befall thee, great trouble for thy adultery. Better that one member perish than the whole body rot. You may read it word for word: Matthew, chapter 5, verses 27–32.

And you are his wife, lawful by every rule. So if you do nothing at all and simply let your husband go, then by your very inaction you abet his adultery, as it were — which means you sin, you permit and allow fornication in your family. As do, for that matter, many church ministers and deeply believing people who forbid such magic — they multiply fornication, and it is they who encourage adultery in our society. And distort our ancient laws.

My view is this: when a straying husband or wife is brought back, there is no sin in it — and even if one of his members should wither after such a rite… well… no great loss. At least the whole body will not rot.

Another matter entirely: the Higher Powers may refuse to let you bring him back. If you yourself are to blame for his taking a lover, then now you are reaping exactly what you have sown.

Why did this betrayal happen in your family? I see that your husband has been languishing with you for nearly all these twenty years. And in recent years you have even slept in separate beds — and the cause is not him at all.

It lies with you, Ludmila. You have a health problem — a benign gynaecological tumour, something like a fibroid. It is precisely this that produces the unwanted hormones that leave you with no desire to sleep with your husband and share intimacy with him — no joy, no mood.

And you have done nothing about it for many years — for over ten years you have been very cold to him. You neither seek treatment nor correct your condition. You make absolutely no effort to mend your health. That is the reason this happened. You must rid yourself of the tumour and balance your hormones. Unless you agreed with your husband from the start that your married life would be practically without intimacy, you cannot treat him this way. And do not hide behind prayers and the church — it has not helped you.

Either divorce him and set him free, or take care of yourself first, and only then decide what to do about your husband.

If a woman lives with her husband in an official marriage and will not sleep with him, hiding behind her complexes or whatever else — her organs rot. Lonely women, by contrast, usually suffer only stagnation in the reproductive organs and the body as a whole; they even age more slowly. Their body seems to be waiting.

If you need a man as a household labourer, perhaps you should simply hire one. If you need a companion or adviser, it is simpler to meet precisely such a person. It would even be cheaper — count it yourself. And the tumour would dissolve on its own.

By refusing your husband intimacy, you set the tumour's growth in motion.

It is also believed that ninety per cent of what causes this tumour comes from bowel problems. The bowels must be cleansed. Rid yourself of parasites and perform a rite to be rid of the tumour. Only ten per cent of such tumours are linked to the thyroid gland. Then the thyroid must be treated. All methods are good, and besides treatment you may also perform a rite.

On the waning moon, starting from Monday, buy three eggs for the rite. One on Monday, another on Tuesday, the third on Wednesday — each from a different woman. On the night from Wednesday to Thursday, hard-boil the eggs at three in the morning in a single vessel. As they boil, read the incantation six times:

"A house stands with a cross, an iron fence, wooden sleeping-benches. In that house a master sleeps, moving not his hands. A crown upon his brow; that master is no reaper, no smith. His hut is closed, his eyes are closed. He lies, moving not his hands, stirring not his fingers, untroubled, unitching, growing neither lengthwise nor across. Grant, O Lord, a ward, that the tumour in Thy servant (name) shall not grow nor increase, but hour by hour wither away. I coax, I charm away; all things have their place, all things their season. Strengthen, O Lord, my ward, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen."

On Thursday morning, roll each of the eggs in turn over the belly, or over the site of the tumour, reading prayers and the incantation. The egg must never crack by chance, be crushed or fall from your hands — that is a bad omen. The eggs are buried in a forest near a cemetery, or in a grove of trees growing by a cemetery, beneath a tree. Arriving at the spot, dig the hole with a kitchen knife, lay the three eggs in it and carefully cover them with the knife, shaping a mound, and repeat the same incantation six times.

Then stick the knife into the ground beside it and leave without looking back, speaking to no one until you reach your home. No one sells eggs singly — you may buy five or ten, but take one from each for the rite. You are forbidden to eat eggs or dishes containing eggs for a month.

To make a husband abandon his lover, cooling rites — ostuda, otsukha — are performed; the gentlest use water. And of course, none of them is ever entirely harmless — neither for the one who performs it nor for the one against whom it is done. So think very carefully and decide firmly for yourself whether you truly need this.

Heat a nail red-hot over a candle flame and drop it into a mug of ice-cold water, saying:

"Little water, water, cool the passion and longing of God's servant (your husband's name) for God's servant (the rival's name). As swiftly as thou, nail, hast cooled, so may God's servant (your husband's name) cool forever toward God's servant (the rival's name)."

Do this three times, then add the water to your beloved husband's food and drink, and throw the nail away at a crossroads.

Buy poppy seeds on the waning moon, on a Tuesday — or a bun rich in poppy seeds — and read the charm over it 33 times:

"Thirty-three crows fly, carrying thirty-three stones. They shall peck the poppy on my threshold and curse my rival (the lover's name) with their beaks. Never shall this poppy sprout: it shall guard me and my home, shield me from rivals and keep my family's happiness. The crows have cast thirty-three stones upon my threshold. Whoever seeks to destroy my happiness shall gather up every stone. So let it be! Amen."

Scatter the poppy beyond the threshold or outside the window of your dwelling, so the birds peck it up. Perform the rite every Tuesday, the first time on a Tuesday of the waning moon.

The husband should abandon his lover and return to the family within a month.

Buy an egg at the full moon; take no change. Coming home, lay the egg upon a photograph of your husband on which he is alone. The egg must spend the night on the photograph. Leave it so until the next night.

At night, no one must disturb you. In the kitchen, light a black candle and leave the electric light off. Set a pot of water on the fire and wait until it boils. Now speak the incantation:

"As the water boils, so thy feeling (husband's name) seethes."

Throw a pinch of salt into the water. The salt will neutralise the energies and render the affair sterile. Say:

"As salt dissolves in water, so thy feeling (husband's name) dissolves."

Now take the egg and lower it into the boiling salted water, saying:

"As the egg entered the water, so it drew the hollow feeling into itself, caught it upon itself, and freed thee (husband's name)."

Leave the egg to boil through — keep it in the boiling water for ten minutes. Meanwhile, prepare another small pot or deep plate nearby and fill it with ice.

Once the ten minutes have passed, drain the water and tip the egg, untouched by hands, straight onto the ice. Heap more ice on top so the egg is fully covered, and say:

"The egg drew the feeling into itself, then fell upon the ice. As the egg chills and freezes, so may thy feelings (husband's name) chill and freeze. As the egg sets and cools, so may thy feelings (husband's name) turn to ice. So let it be."

Keep adding ice and draining the meltwater until the egg is a lump of ice. Then place the egg in a bag with the ice and carry it outside. Best of all, if you perform the ritual in winter, bury it deep in the snow in the frost. In summer, bury it in the earth.

Do not touch the egg with your hands during the ritual or after; wash the dishes thoroughly in very salty water after the magical work.

Let the candle burn down. After the ritual you may sit before the flame, relax and release your thoughts.

If your husband's philandering with his lover has exhausted you utterly and you are in complete despair, take a worn garment of your husband's — underpants, socks he has worn — and carry it to the cemetery in daytime, between noon and 4 p.m., on the waning moon. Find a grave bearing your husband's name and bury the garments in the grave. Then say six times:

"O ye dead, O ye departed. In your graves ye sleep, gazing not upon the white world. Ye fear no rain, ye freeze not in snow. Ye greet no dawns, ye pine for no one! So may God's servant (husband's name) pine not for the servant (name), never see her nor know her. May he fear her words, never sit with her alone at table, never lie with the servant (name) in bed. Never kiss her lips, never caress her breasts, never speak her name. May (husband's name) abandon the servant (name). None shall break my charm nor turn it back. My words are without lock, my deed without key. None shall open or break them. Key. Lock. Tongue. Amen. Amen. Amen."

Leave without looking back and speak to no one. Do not forget to take a little earth from the grave where you buried the garments, to scatter where your husband meets his lover. And be sure to leave an offering for the spirit of the cemetery and a memorial upon the grave.

This rite only seems easy — the slightest mistake may prove fatal, both for you and for your husband!